Photo Courtesy of Joshua Hoffman Photography
A little while ago a friend from twitter, @Bpraveenreddy, asked me what the one thing I wish I had learned earlier in my life was. The answer took me about a week to come up with, and it surprised even myself. I wish I had known that if a large group of people have a certain impression of you, than you are doing something to give those people that impression.
For a long time I didn’t think much of going through any effort to make people see me for who I am. After all it wouldn’t change who I really was. I used this as sort of a filter, anyone who would not come to like me was not worth my time. The problem came however in that I wasn’t demonstrating who I was. I thought that by not worrying about presentation things would be more honest, and in reality I just ended up confusing people. At the same time I was closing myself off from opportunities that could have made a difference in my life. I didn’t realize that there was not really a way to not present something. Even my attitude of not caring what other people thought was a kind of presentation.
So here are the times that how you present yourself really counts.
- It counts when you want people to see you for who you are.
- It counts when you want to be respected.
- It counts when you want to move forward in your career.
- It counts when you are looking to open new opportunities.
So how do you pull it off?
Figure out how you want to be seen. Do you want others to know you for being honest? What about caring? What about sincere? Make a list of things that you want to be known for, than take an inventory of what you are known for.
Know your audience. What kind of people do you want to respect you? Why them? What do they respect? What can you do that will make it easy for these people to relate to you?
Experiment. Try new things. Get comfortable with pushing your comfort zone. Get up and speak, when you have something valuable to say. Go out and dance. Try to learn a new game. The idea here is not to overpower everyone, but rather to have many aspects that many people can relate to.
Do it with style. Fashion is not as shallow as it gets a wrap for. Please note the following though. You should not have to spend an obscene amount of money. You also should not wear clothes that you genuinely do not like. Nor should you ignore your own style. What I do, however want is that you think of ways that you can tweak your style so that the impression you want others to have of you will be the one that comes through.
Carry yourself with confidence. If you don’t seen anything in yourself, its going to be very difficult to make others see something in yourself. There is no substitute for confidence. One thing you can do about this is keep a confident posture. Our body is connected to our minds. If you walk like someone who is confident than little by little, you will learn to be comfortable with this, and a little bit of confidence will find its way in. For more on dealing with self-doubts, and being more confident you can also check out Never Feel Like a Loser Again.
Be genuine. Nothing will make people think that you are honest more than genuinely demonstrating it. Don’t try to be someone else, and if you want to be known for something that you aren’t living yet, than start by working on the behaviors you need to be that. Virtue can not be faked for long. Honesty can not be faked. Liars are always found out.
Just be aware. This is the most powerful thing here. As you become aware of the impressions you give, and the actions that you are taking. You may find that many of the actions you identified as negative will start to lessen. After all most people will not continue doing wrong, once they realize they are doing it.
No matter what you do, you are always communicating something. So how are you going to present yourself from here? What will you do so that others will be more likely to see you for who you really are?
Photo Courtesy of Joshua Hoffman Photography
A little while ago a friend from twitter, @Bpraveenreddy, asked me what the one thing I wish I had learned earlier in my life was. The answer took me about a week to come up with, and it surprised even myself. I wish I had known that if a large group of people have a certain impression of you, than you are doing something to give those people that impression.
For a long time I didn’t think much of going through any effort to make people see me for who I am. After all it wouldn’t change who I really was. I used this as sort of a filter, anyone who would not come to like me was not worth my time. The problem came however in that I wasn’t demonstrating who I was. I thought that by not worrying about presentation things would be more honest, and in reality I just ended up confusing people. At the same time I was closing myself off from opportunities that could have made a difference in my life. I didn’t realize that there was not really a way to not present something. Even my attitude of not caring what other people thought was a kind of presentation.
So here are the times that how you present yourself really counts.
- It counts when you want people to see you for who you are.
- It counts when you want to be respected.
- It counts when you want to move forward in your career.
- It counts when you are looking to open new opportunities.
So how do you pull it off?
Figure out how you want to be seen. Do you want others to know you for being honest? What about caring? What about sincere? Make a list of things that you want to be known for, than take an inventory of what you are known for.
Know your audience. What kind of people do you want to respect you? Why them? What do they respect? What can you do that will make it easy for these people to relate to you?
Experiment. Try new things. Get comfortable with pushing your comfort zone. Get up and speak, when you have something valuable to say. Go out and dance. Try to learn a new game. The idea here is not to overpower everyone, but rather to have many aspects that many people can relate to.
Do it with style. Fashion is not as shallow as it gets a wrap for. Please note the following though. You should not have to spend an obscene amount of money. You also should not wear clothes that you genuinely do not like. Nor should you ignore your own style. What I do, however want is that you think of ways that you can tweak your style so that the impression you want others to have of you will be the one that comes through.
Carry yourself with confidence. If you don’t seen anything in yourself, its going to be very difficult to make others see something in yourself. There is no substitute for confidence. One thing you can do about this is keep a confident posture. Our body is connected to our minds. If you walk like someone who is confident than little by little, you will learn to be comfortable with this, and a little bit of confidence will find its way in. For more on dealing with self-doubts, and being more confident you can also check out Never Feel Like a Loser Again.
Be genuine. Nothing will make people think that you are honest more than genuinely demonstrating it. Don’t try to be someone else, and if you want to be known for something that you aren’t living yet, than start by working on the behaviors you need to be that. Virtue can not be faked for long. Honesty can not be faked. Liars are always found out.
Just be aware. This is the most powerful thing here. As you become aware of the impressions you give, and the actions that you are taking. You may find that many of the actions you identified as negative will start to lessen. After all most people will not continue doing wrong, once they realize they are doing it.
No matter what you do, you are always communicating something. So how are you going to present yourself from here? What will you do so that others will be more likely to see you for who you really are?
